A Hairy Situation
by Stultus
Summary: *Takes Place AFTER TLO. !SPOILERS!* Percy discovers some of the downsides of the Curse of Achilles.


This story is PURELY humorous. If you want anything serious, this is not the story for you. That being said, I shall try to keep it from being in any way STUPID. Criticism greatly appreciated. Please let me know whether or not you find my writing funny.

"ἀθάνατοι θεοί!" exclaimed Annabeth, staring at the broken pair of scissors in her hands. She had, you see, just tried to cut my hair. Now, one wouldn't think that would be such a big deal, but I had a bit of a problem.

You see, almost one year ago, I had gone for a little swim in the river Styx. Now, I was completely (or almost completely) invincible. Including my hair. When Achilles had told me that it would be a curse, I though he meant the usual "power corrupts, blah, blag, blah." But apparently not. His long hair, which I had assumed was just _the style _in Mycenian Greece, was apparently a result of the fact that his hair was impossible to cut. As mine now was. Now, I'm not the kind of guy to get a buzz-cut or anything, but I like to at least keep my hair shorter than Annabeth's. Currently, it was not.

"Ouch!" I yelled at Annabeth, who had just tried to rip a handful of my hair out of my scalp.

"That hurt!"

She looked at me with an expression that said _oh-my-gods-I-can't-believe-your-such-a-wimp, _and sighed."We've got to do _something_ about your. . ." she faltered.

"Hair," I supplied.

"You call that matted rug clinging to you head _hair?_" she asked. "Seriously, Percy. You look like that guy from Nirvana. Except with darker hair."

"Kurt Cobain?"

"Yeah, him."

"What's wrong with looking like Kurt Cobain?" I asked. Annabeth glared at me.

"You look like your gonna commit suicide," she stated.

"No," I corrected. "Kurt Cobain already _did _commit suicide. Billie Joe Armstrong looks like he's _going _to. But he's in Green Day, not Nirv—ouch!" Annabeth had picked a frying pan of the kitched table at which we were sitting, and smacked me in the head with it. Ever since I became invincible, she had taken to performing every violent act she could think of on me. Hitting me in the head with frying pans was the least of these. The worst included soaking me with Greek Fire, and pushing me off Blackjack. When we were five hundred feet in the air. But I found that although these did cause me pain, the pain was very brief. It didn't last like it had before I had bathed in the Styxe.

"What the heck was that for?" I demanded.

"For going on about the differences between Kurt Cobain and Billie Joe Armstrong," Annabeth said.

"Yeah, well, you started it," I said. "You said my hair made me look like Kurt Cobain. Admit that you're wrong."

She sat down in a chair next to me. "Your right, you don't look like Kurt Cobain."

"Thank you," I said.

"You look much more like Ozzy Osbourne."

"Hey!"

Annabeth laughed, and finally I did two. Finally, and still smiling she said, "we really _are _going to have to do something about your hair though. It's longer than Aphrodite's."

"Funny," I said. "Really funny. What do you suggest we do about it, O Daughter of Athena?" Annabeth had once told me that children of Athena "always had a plan." But I was confident that this problem had even her stumped.

"Well," she said, "I was just talking to Connor Stoll. I'm having him bring a chainsaw—"

"Ha, ha," I pretended to laugh. "Anything serious?"

She leaned in closer, like she was going to say something really important. "I have an idea. It will be dangerous, but I think it's worth the risk. After all," she paused, "if we don't do something fast, your hair might stand a better chance of taking over the world than Kronos did!" She burst out laughing, while I just buried my head in my hands. If my hair was already shoulder length, what would it look like by the time I was fifty? I thought I would rather drown myself than find out. Unfortunately, I couldn't.

Thanks for reading! Let me know if you like it, hate it et cetera. Especially tell me if you found it funny or not. Should I continue with this? Leave it as a pointless oneshot? Thanks! Also, at the end of each chapter, I will provide a tip for other writers. I hope you find these helpful.

Tip1: When writing fanfics, DON'T have Percy call Annabeth "Wise Girl." Seriously, he called her that like twice, IN THE FIRST BOOk, and NOT SINCE THEN! In the short story "The Bronze Dragon, he even comments that he found it "Lame," which is why he stopped using it.


End file.
